Why do Women fall for Bad Boys, Losers and Lost Causes?

No woman ever wakes up in the morning and says to herself, “Today I  am going to fall for a bad boy who will hurt me.”

Most often the men these women meet know how to make them feel wonderful.


Bad Boys are Usually good at Manipulating Women

The problem isn’t that the feelings of these women are wrong. The problem is that many of these guys are often very likable, charming, exciting and fun to be around, at first. These guys are usually good looking, sexy and masculine. They are good at forming a quick, emotional bond with these unsuspecting women. They are masters of manipulation. And they are used to getting what they want.

Though the common themes of why women like bad boys seems to be because they are, mysterious, indifferent, unpredictable, exciting and above all, sexy (check out my article, What Makes Evil so Damn Sexy, on my SEXYOUALL sexual advice blog).

In a survey asking women exactly why they date losers, the top 10 reasons were as follows:

1. Their bad boy attitude.
2. They don’t care what others think of them.
3. They tend to live adventurous exciting lifestyle. Safe or not.
4. Her friends or family don’t approve of them.
5. Their mysterious attitude is intriguing.
6. The emotional roller coaster the bad boy gives them is addicting.
7. She wants to change or tame him.
8. They seem to offer the greatest protection.
9. They don’t seem to like the woman, and she wants the attention or his love. (A challenge)
10. It’s a father figure issue.

What gets these women into trouble is that their feelings often cause them to ignore bad or inconsistent behavior that they would clearly see if they were not so emotionally involved.

Despite the tears and sleepless nights these men cause, they are never boring, routine or predictable. They provide plenty to talk about with friends over a Coke. But mostly they inflict misery. Jealousy. Paranoia. Sadness. Depression. 

Many women spend months daydreaming of offering a sparkling insight, of putting on a sexy dress, or of telling a hilarious joke, to show their bad boy lover how incredible they are. Fantasize of changing them. Of how they would stop cheating, drinking or beating them, transforming into Prince Charming.

Many Women Dream of  Rescuing Their Bad Boys

Women like this see their bad boys as a project, a work in progress, or even a life worth saving. After years of failed attempts, it finally dawns on many of these women to stop dating these types of guys. But by then, a lot of emotional and psychological damage has already been done.

This "Florence Nightingale Syndrome" involves women who try helping guys who refused to help themselves.

Thank God there is hope. Contrary to popular belief, women want the Nice Guy. I know you are probably cringing right now because everything you have felt and experienced so far suggests the opposite.


Most women who constantly dated bad boys end up being attracted to and even marrying the same boring, nice guys they used to turn their nose up at. The loyal, affectionate, reliable, successful, fun ones that do their share in a relationship.

They want to stop being miserable, nervous, jealous, and paranoid.

How to Stop Dating Bad Boy Losers and Lost Causes

If you're continually attracting bad men, you have a problem. Bad men are attracted to women they perceive they can abuse, emotionally or physically. Are you up for abuse?

If so, why?

Sit down, pour a cup of tea, and have a good chat with yourself. Why do you attract losers? Why do you find them attractive? If you find good men boring or 'too safe,' what does that say about you? Are you afraid of a real relationship.

Why?

Love advice: Write your answers on a piece of paper. Give them some thought. Ask yourself what kind of man would give you the peace and joy you truly deserve. Write that down, too. Use your second list as a litmus test. The next time you date a guy, ask yourself if he possesses the qualities you need to be happy.

Ask yourself if you're willing to be happy (not everybody is, you know). If your answer is yes, that's great. If you answer is no, ask yourself why.

What are you afraid of? What's stopping you? Are you willing to change?

Written By: Tom Retterbush

Sources

Why Do Women Fall For Bad Boys davidwygant.com

Love Advice for Women – Stop Dating Bad Boys and Attract the Love You Deserve healthguidance.org

Can You Die from a Broken Heart?

Broken heart syndrome may often be confused with symptoms of a heart attack.

Understanding broken heart syndrome requires the understanding of how the body reacts to stress.


A Troubled Mind May Lead to a Broken Heart

The term "broken heart syndrome" came about after researchers noticed that many people with the condition were grieving, says Ilan Wittstein, MD, a Johns Hopkins University cardiologist who's been studying the condition for a decade.

"The first several patients we saw, many of them had [just experienced] the death of a loved one, a spouse, a parent. Some people started having symptoms at a funeral," he tells WebMD.

But other patients had just gone through a trauma like a car accident or a mugging. Another woman landed in the intensive care unit on her 60th birthday after being startled by well-wishers shouting "Surprise!" Wittstein says.

These types of events can trigger your sympathetic nervous system, which is also called your "fight or flight" mechanism, says Peter Shapiro, MD, a professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University who studies emotional issues in heart disease.

Your body unleashes a flood of chemicals, including adrenaline, he says. This sudden flood can stun your heart muscle, leaving it unable to pump properly.

So even though broken heart syndrome may feel like a heart attack, it's a very different problem that needs a different type of treatment.

The Broken Heart

Broken heart syndrome has yet another name: Takotsubo syndrome.

A tako-tsubo is a pot that's used in Japan for catching sea creatures. When Japanese researchers looked at images of people's hearts during broken heart syndrome, they noted that the left ventricle had taken on an unusual shape resembling the fishing pot.

During an episode of the condition, the heart muscle can be so profoundly affected that it can't pump blood out to the body strongly enough. As a result, the patient may develop heart failure. This can be life-threatening, Wittstein says.

The symptoms are so similar to those of a traditional heart attack that you, a paramedic, and even many ER doctors aren't going to know the difference, Wittstein says. They include:

• Chest pain
• Shortness of breath
• Arm pain
• Sweating

Because traditional heart attacks can be triggered by stress as well, you shouldn’t take any chances.

"If you're at home having chest pain, you shouldn't question whether this could be stress cardiomyopathy just because you're going through a stressful period. The take-home message is get to the hospital and let the doctors find out which one of these you’re having," Wittstein says.

Diagnosing a Broken Heart

Clues that may help lead your doctor to the right diagnosis are your age and gender. More than 90% of cases reported thus far have been in women.

It's especially common after menopause. Lisa Wysocky was 52 when she had her encounter with broken heart syndrome.

Some research suggests that about 2% of people who seem to be having a heart attack actually have broken heart syndrome. Among women, the number may be higher than 5%, Wittstein tells WebMD.

If you've just gone through grief, stress, or emotional trauma, mention it to your doctor, Wittstein says. Also bring up recent physical stress such as an asthma flare-up or low blood sugar, he says. These can also trigger the problem.

To diagnose broken heart syndrome, doctors usually perform an angiogram. This provides images of the major blood vessels that supply your heart. During a heart attack, one or more arteries are often blocked. But during broken heart syndrome, these blood vessels look OK.

Your doctor is likely going to want to also perform an echocardiogram. This takes pictures of your heart, which may reveal the tell-tale fishing pot shape.

Healing the Heart

A remarkable aspect of broken heart syndrome is that "someone can be critically ill on a Monday, and by Thursday can literally be preparing to go home," Wittstein says.

Their heart muscle also usually recovers fairly quickly. Neither is often the case after a major heart attack.

Afterward, people may need to take heart medications called beta blockers or ACE inhibitors for a limited time. However, experts don't know if these drugs are necessary for the long term, Wittstein says.

Since her episode, Lisa hasn't had any more heart problems, and she's only taking a low dose of an anti-anxiety drug. These days, she spends her time authoring books, helping people with disabilities ride horses, and leading a foundation in Colby's name. She's grateful that her doctors were able to diagnose her condition as a short-term problem.

"What was so reassuring to me was that the doctor didn't dismiss the symptoms just because I wasn't having a heart attack. He understood my symptoms were real. That was very comforting to me," she says.

Dont miss my next article, How to Mend a Broken Heart, comming soon.

Written By: Tom Retterbush