Sunday, March 20, 2011

Why do Women fall for Bad Boys, Losers and Lost Causes?

No woman ever wakes up in the morning and says to herself, “Today I  am going to fall for a bad boy who will hurt me.”

Most often the men these women meet know how to make them feel wonderful.


Bad Boys are Usually good at Manipulating Women

The problem isn’t that the feelings of these women are wrong. The problem is that many of these guys are often very likable, charming, exciting and fun to be around, at first. These guys are usually good looking, sexy and masculine. They are good at forming a quick, emotional bond with these unsuspecting women. They are masters of manipulation. And they are used to getting what they want.

Though the common themes of why women like bad boys seems to be because they are, mysterious, indifferent, unpredictable, exciting and above all, sexy (check out my article, What Makes Evil so Damn Sexy, on my SEXYOUALL sexual advice blog).

In a survey asking women exactly why they date losers, the top 10 reasons were as follows:
  1. Their bad boy attitude.
  2. They don’t care what others think of them.
  3. They tend to live adventurous exciting lifestyle. Safe or not.
  4. Her friends or family don’t approve of them.
  5. Their mysterious attitude is intriguing.
  6. The emotional roller coaster the bad boy gives them is addicting.
  7. She wants to change or tame him.
  8. They seem to offer the greatest protection.
  9. They don’t seem to like the woman, and she wants the attention or his love. (A challenge)
  10. It’s a father figure issue.
What gets these women into trouble is that their feelings often cause them to ignore bad or inconsistent behavior that they would clearly see if they were not so emotionally involved.

Despite the tears and sleepless nights these men cause, they are never boring, routine or predictable. They provide plenty to talk about with friends over a Coke. But mostly they inflict misery. Jealousy. Paranoia. Sadness. Depression. 

Many women spend months daydreaming of offering a sparkling insight, of putting on a sexy dress, or of telling a hilarious joke, to show their bad boy lover how incredible they are. Fantasize of changing them. Of how they would stop cheating, drinking or beating them, transforming into Prince Charming.

Many Women Dream of  Rescuing Their Bad Boys

Women like this see their bad boys as a project, a work in progress, or even a life worth saving. After years of failed attempts, it finally dawns on many of these women to stop dating these types of guys. But by then, a lot of emotional and psychological damage has already been done.

This "Florence Nightingale Syndrome" involves women who try helping guys who refused to help themselves.

Thank God there is hope. Contrary to popular belief, women want the Nice Guy. I know you are probably cringing right now because everything you have felt and experienced so far suggests the opposite.


Most women who constantly dated bad boys end up being attracted to and even marrying the same boring, nice guys they used to turn their nose up at. The loyal, affectionate, reliable, successful, fun ones that do their share in a relationship.

They want to stop being miserable, nervous, jealous, and paranoid.



How to Stop Dating Bad Boy Losers and Lost Causes

If you're continually attracting bad men, you have a problem. Bad men are attracted to women they perceive they can abuse, emotionally or physically. Are you up for abuse?

If so, why?

Sit down, pour a cup of tea, and have a good chat with yourself. Why do you attract losers? Why do you find them attractive? If you find good men boring or 'too safe,' what does that say about you? Are you afraid of a real relationship.

Why?

Love advice: Write your answers on a piece of paper. Give them some thought. Ask yourself what kind of man would give you the peace and joy you truly deserve. Write that down, too. Use your second list as a litmus test. The next time you date a guy, ask yourself if he possesses the qualities you need to be happy.

Ask yourself if you're willing to be happy (not everybody is, you know). If your answer is yes, that's great. If you answer is no, ask yourself why.

What are you afraid of? What's stopping you? Are you willing to change?

Written By: Tom Retterbush



Sources
Posted by Tom Retterbush at 11:24 PM
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  2. mark ramsdenMarch 24, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    Women pair up with men hoping they will change. Men pair up with women hoping they will not change. Millions of years of evolution and we still can't see this. We have to live it first.

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    Written by a guy. Heh.

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  10. Thomas Arthur RetterbushApril 29, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    I appreciate your input, AngelaTC, and yes it was written by a guy. Me.

    To the defense of this article, much of the information was gathered from women.

    If there is anything you would like to ad, feel free to leave it as a comment, or submit it for publishing as an article on Date Karma at:

    http://www.datekarma.net/p/submit-article.html.

    Thanks again for the comment.

    Tom Retterbush
    Date Karma Pubisher, Editor and Author

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  13. Love and relationship guruMay 28, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    Great post!

    I think that this behavior is deeply rooted in evolution. I mean women were more likely to survive with a "strong man" in the wild. I think that it is possbile to be "strong" and attractive with being a "bad boy." I think this is the perfect combination - however rare.

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    F*ck Women! I have no respect for them with the exception of my mother, and who knows, maybe she took my father thru this same type of bullsh*t as well.

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  17. Louis PriceJuly 5, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    I find that a lot of time, femals attraction to 'bad boys' has to do with what they've learned through media. We grew up watching people like James Dean and, more recently, James Franco support leather jackets and 'I don't care what you say' attitudes. Seeing people like that in such a highly respected position can make women associate the bad boy persona with celebrity and fame.

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    I think number 10 is huge. We ALL often end up with the people most like our parents. At the end of the day, it's a matter of how much you love yourself and how you want to be treated.

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    1. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2013 at 10:39 AM

      Finally a REAL WOMAN who knows what's up!!! I love it and as a MAN we need more of you!! You hit it precisely on the nail!! It took me all these years and I'm 43, to realize that if you dont have love and respect for yourself, you will always be attracted to the WRONG type. Keep in mind everyone, loving yourself and workin on yourself to be a better person overall as a whole ISNT narcissistic or having an inflamed ego!!! There's a huge difference as "ego" is something that isn't real, it doesnt exist. Real love and kindness, and respect for others is from GOD and will always PREVAIL!!! Again Amen Alpharetta for beautiful women like you!! The shalow so-called women here in the U.S. need to take learning lessons from you!!!

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  40. AnonymousOctober 11, 2011 at 9:24 PM

    I so agree with this. Just this week I was talking to this lady who married this guy who she said was so cool and then she told me he had been in prison for the last 22 year. WTF SERIOUSLY??????? This guy she said was in prison for check fraud, swindling people out of money and other heavy theft stuff. Then she said the one of the most abused words women use the but "he's changed" he's completely a good guy. A GOOD GUY???? What the WTF are you women seriously delusional that go for these SERIOUS LOSERS!!! This guy is a pathetic loser, he's obviously not smart, not educated. I don't along with many other men don't effin get it!!! But then seriously if like us educated men (college grads), stable jobs, a very good head on our shoulders, have great stable families, keep our nose out of trouble (as in no arrest records, no rap sheets) but (COMMENLY MISTAKED BY A LOT OF WOMEN) it doesn't mean we don't have the bad boy side to us and are all just hum dum boring guys. Just the opposite but the part's we don't have are the LOSER parts, were not the D-Bags that could care less about you. But seriously women that go for these LOSERS, PRISIONERS, THUGS, TRUE LIFE DEADBEATS you have to work on your self esteem and self worth. YOU WOMEN DON'T DESERVE HIM AND HE CERTAINLY DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!!!

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  50. AnonymousNovember 26, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    I agree with this post on so many levels. But also think that sometimes, people don't always fall into the same dichotomous categories. I sometimes am the "unpredictable, exciting girl" that some loyal, reliable, nice guys fall for. But with some other men, I become that loyal, reliable, nice girl who foolishly falls for the "bad guys".. And I'm sure the men I date show/become different sides of themselves depending on whom they are dating..

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  56. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2012 at 11:23 PM

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    Most women are damaged goods anyway because of these so-called "bad boys". Call me sexist but that's the way it is. Guys are not feeding into this "nice guys finish last" bull-crap and going their own way. A lot of guys are single by choice because they are tired of having to settle for sloppy seconds, thirds fourths, fifths, sixths, and sevenths. Hence, the term "damaged goods".

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